Retiring Thoughts

This is the column I wrote for The Leaf Chronicle which was originally published on Oct 6, 2013.

Last week I was fortunate enough to steal away for a long weekend with my husband, so we traveled south to visit friends in Fort Walton Beach, FL. This is our fourth time visiting them in two years, which is a lot for us; between the business and my husband’s jobs we just don’t get away much. By comparison, however, we have traveled to see these friends with more frequency than any others and not just because they have a house on the water (wink, wink). The truth is that neither of us are really “Florida people,” but we love the Florida people we go to see.

 

 

 

 

 

When we met at college in NC, we both agreed that neither of us were very fond of the idea of living in the other’s home town. My husband is from Pompano Beach, FL and I’m from Fairfax, VA. Florida is too hot for me and has too few seasons; Fairfax is too congested and expensive for him.

Shortly after graduating, we married and my husband joined the Army, so we’ve lived wherever Uncle Sam suggested. Virginia and Florida never made the list. Landing here in Clarksville has been a great blessing and we feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to purchase our dream home and become entrenched in a community. Any subsequent thoughts of retirement have featured our old house.

We’ve always thought our retirement plans would involve the eastern shore of Virginia. It has been our number one vacation destination for years and years, but now we plan for vacations in the Florida panhandle. What the heck is going on here?

Darren on the beach in Coles Point, VA

Well, I haven’t completely figured it out, but I’ve pieced together a couple factors to consider. Number one on the list of considerations: What do you do when you get there? I mean “long term,” not during a week-long vacation. Those vacations on the eastern shore are wonderful, but they are low key. We don’t do much, because there isn’t much to do; which is great for a week, but any longer than that and I’ll go nuts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It takes a lot of this . . . (above), to get to this . . .(below).

 

Bill and Darren doing what they do best; Haedyn, too, for that matter.

 

Next consideration: the weather. The climate was my number one reason for putting the kibosh on Florida so many years ago. I need some variations in temperatures—hot being my least favorite. While I love the change of seasons, I really do enjoy being on the water; in a month or two you won’t be taking a boat out on the Chesapeake Bay unless it is your job. We were on the Choctawhatchee Bay in the middle of January last year. So, as much as we love the Virginia eastern shore, the window of water enjoyment time is really about 5 - 6 months; in the Bay area of Florida, you can hit the water year round.

(Can’t you just see that metaphorical scale tipping?)

One seemingly minor consideration, but worth adding to the list: the seasonable weather during months with “r’s” in them. Oysters taste better while seated at an outdoor table and outdoor dining on the Virginia coast in during the months of November – April is almost unheard of. Further, both areas have oysters, but the fresh oysters available in Florida are ginormous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some JP Penney poses as we arrive at the Dockside Grill in FL.

The biggest factor weighing in this new found fondness for the sunshine state is reality. The reality is we cannot afford two households. So, when we make the decision about where to retire, it is there we will be. No weekend houses or summer homes for us.

 

Fortunately, however, this is not a decision for anytime in the immediate future. We’ve still got a high school student we need to push through and some college tuition to take care of, a few house repairs to tend to and so on. Suffice to say that I look forward to seeing you Wednesday mornings when I’m taking advantage of my senior citizen discounts at Kroger on Madison Street; be sure to stop me and say, “Hi!”

(Of course, none of it matters without this . . .)

July 15, 2012—the vacation

(Disclaimer: I actually wrote this last week, but due to my lack of technological expertise, I was unable to send it. Please forgive it’s late arrival.)

I am sitting on the porch of my second favorite place in the world, enjoying my second to the last sunrise (which I enjoyed mostly from the comfort of bed, but then reminded myself that there would only be one more, so up I hopped). My brother-in-law is the only other one stirring—wait, there is the squeaky door . . . my son appears with a bowl of cereal in his hand.

All week we have been enjoying what I call the excessive relaxation of vacation. Yes, it is relaxing to be away from the shop and the house, but sometimes it is a little excessive. The food and drink is definitely excessive—I am sure everyone is regretting my choice of a bikini for our time together. We are excessive in our attempts to squeeze-in so much togetherness (there are those among us who need their alone time, if you know what I’m saying). But all-in-all, I’d say it has been another banner vacation for the family.

With the last night of our time together drawing nigh, I am forced to acknowledge the limitations of our vacation. My sister, Nikki, is recovering from a recent surgery (-ies, actually) and, naturally, my father’s presence is sorely missed. Nik is doing her best to keep-up with us, inevitably overdoing it at times, but I think we’ve all done a good job of keeping her in check. Dad’s presence is all around us: the music he loved and his quotable quotes—usually declared by one of the grandchildren—are most frequent reminders and conjure happy memories. I do miss being able to turn to him as ask him: about the history of the river; to identify a fish, bird or plant; how to fix the broken box spring on one of the beds. As promised by all of my friends, however, time is taking away the hurt and helping smiles overtake the tears.

One thing Dad loved about coming to this new cabin is seeing the new, quirky decorations Robyn and Craig have chosen for their home-away-from-home. They have procured some of the most unique items to adorn their home on the “rivah,” and there is always something new. This year, they added papier mâchê figures, most about 3 – 4 feet in height, to the rafters of the main room. They are all representative of their love for country music and the blues. They told us they were able to purchase them from a restaurant that was redecorating.

Each time we visit, my sisters and I talk about what we would do if we were able to have a cabin to our own. It is one of our favorite things to do—plan fantasy homes and decorate them. We consider our favorite plan to be a compound of sorts with a central living and kitchen area and separate wings for each of the families. (I did mention this is a fantasy conception, right?)

Anyhoo, I think the décor in your home-away-from-home should be casual, but you still need to consider practicality and comfort. A large, well-planned kitchen is essential, as we must all be able to be in there at the same time. A large, screened porch with plenty of seating is wonderful. Beds are nice, too—at least one for each of us.

As for the décor, I think my place would look much the same as my house. Old, worn furniture—no pressure to be careful with finished surfaces. Everything would be washable. Hardwood floors are a must. I am sure I’d have the water themed toss pillows and painted signs such as, “What happens at the cabin, stays at the cabin,” but I am thinking I’d have to issue a moratorium on additions to the décor without my prior approval. So, at the risk of sounding ungrateful, when you are invited to my fantasy cabin, please bring gifts of consumables—nothing I will feel obliged to display, please.

Paige Thomas King is owner of Hodgepodge, Where You Gather Your Home, at 125 Franklin St. Email her at paige@hodgepodge-home.com or visit her blog at www.hodgepodge-home.blogspot.com.

Jul 1, 2012—Vacation Packing

How do you pack for vacation? I think I pack very differently when I am packing for vacation, as compared to when I am packing for a business trip. I wonder if this is a widespread phenomenon or my unique, ill-prepared approach.

The cool thing about my job is that I give the appearance of having it “together” by virtue of the fact that I can arrange a mantel or create a coherent display in a window. All you have to do is peek over my front desk or behind the curtain into my backroom to know it is an illusion (not a very good illusion, at that). If messy desk is evidence of a creative mind—as those of us with messy desks are desperate to believe—then I am approaching the Einstein-esque genius! But we were packing . . . (Attention Deficit Disorder is something else altogether).

When I’m taking a business trip, I make a list—choosing outfits for each day, adjusting for maximum use of one or two pairs of shoes. I usually have it all ironed and ready to pack in the car or suitcase at least one day in advance. I think it’s more difficult to pack for vacation. I always have so much I want to “pack-in” during my time away (every bit of that pun was intended), I feel the pressure to make sure I have everything I could possibly need with me. Business trips are straight forward. Also, there’s less guilt in going away for business. Vacation time is just so dang self-indulgent!

As I compose this column, we are at t-minus 12 hours and I’ve only put a bathing suit in my suitcase! I will be here at work another 7 hours. There is laundry to do, last minute runs to the grocery store for en route supplies, and a refrigerator to clean! You do the math. No don’t . . . I’m stressed enough already.

What I always marvel at as we prepare for vacation trips is how the family divides-up the necessary chores. Now that the kids are of that somewhat useful age, I think I lull myself into a false sense of security that they’re taking care of the things I once did. They do their own packing, including the preparatory laundry. They no longer require entertainment devices the size of large coolers. Now, they’re happy with an IPod and a few books. They even pack their own snacks for the road.

We do have to remind them to grab the sunscreen, beach towels and other items for the “greater good,” but they do tend to their own needs pretty well. Our youngest is a planner. She has been packing in her mind for the past month. She will also be especially helpful in selecting approved outfits for her older brother; he, in exchange for her efforts, will promptly commence to mismatching or completely disregarding. Our eldest is responsible for making sure we have enough tie dying supplies to create unique apparel for each of our party of 15—one of our few pre-planned, organized activities. Oh, and in case you are wondering, it is my husband’s job to clean the car prior to the trip; the kids and I look at it as clean palette on which to create.

The truth is bathing suits will be the attire for the majority of the time. I really don’t plan to pack much more than that. I’ll be wearing my travel outfit, which should suffice for the required runs to the grocery store while there. So, I guess I’m really packed already—I just need to grab a few magazines, a book, my camera, my laptop . . .

June 24, 2012—lazy, hazy days

According to the official calendar of the King Kompound (aka: the Clarksville-Montgomery County School System calendar) we are about four weeks into our summer. Thus far, as Nat King Cole used to sing, I’ve had plenty of the “crazy,” but very few of those “lazy, hazy days.” But I guess that’s just life.

The seasons determined by the tilt of the earth on its axis have very little bearing on the level of activity in most of our lives. Sure, there are the occasional happenstances of a seasonal nature which ramp-up activity levels (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.), but for the most part, life is always pretty crazy for us. I try to keep things in perspective, but sometimes it is difficult.

I know that the reason we are busy running kids to-and-fro is because they are healthy, active kids, therefore they have things to do. The reason our schedule is full is because we have jobs, church and civic commitments—all good things. But sometimes it feels too crazy and you just want to stop the roller coaster ride and get off!

Pretty soon we will enter another phase of our household life—two of the three kids will be in college (one here at APSU and the other is heading to UT in Knoxville), so we will have a little less activity in the house. Thank goodness this is gradual or I’d be experiencing “lazy, hazy” at a home for the mentally deficient!

 

 

 

In the meantime, bring on the crazy with our upcoming family excursion to the aforementioned (my column from April 22nd) second favorite place on earth. The area is known as the “Northern Neck” region of Virginia; it is located on the northernmost peninsula of three located along the Chesapeake Bay. We will enjoy boating, fishing, hammock rocking, great food and even better company. This is how it is going to play out . . .

We all pile in the “family truckster”—a 1993 Suburban, held together by prayer and our dear friends at Auto MD on Seven Mile Ferry Road—and head east. We stop driving when we see water. We will start the fun at Nikki and Bill’s (my sister and brother-in-law’s) RV they leave at a park there. It is big and comfortable, but will fill-up quickly with our family of five, Nikki’s family of five and Kendall’s family of four. Needless to say, Mom will be skipping this part of our adventure.

She will join us on day 3, when we move to the cabin our cousins so generously allow us to borrow now and again. It is much more spacious and allows us to spread-out a little more, but we will have equal amounts of fun at both locations. The additional bonus at the cabin is the fact that is right on the Nomini Creek. We walk off the porch and within a few steps we are on the dock. From there, children will perform their antics (which they believe resembles “diving”), kayaks will be launched and Uncle Bill will push-off more times than we can count to pull a tube or throw some fishing lines. Our biggest concerns all week will be: is it jellyfish free zone and do we need more ice for the coolers.

Cue the “lazy, hazy” and check my pulse.

April 22, 2012--Vacation Planning

It’s mid-April and our families (mine and my sisters’) are already “knee deep in the water somewhere.”  (Borrowed that from the Zac Brown Band, it is a song my son adores and played every chance he got—based on the dictates of his sisters and their level of patience, last summer.)  We are trying to make plans for our family vacation. 

What are you going to do?  Hang around the house and try to get some projects done?  Visit the beach? Take a trip to the family home?  How do you decide what you’ll do? 

Sometimes out of necessity, our plans are determined for us; then others, we get to choose.  This year we all want to be together and were creatively planning to make it happen.  I, inevitably, encounter at least some stress about planning our vacation time. 

Of course, there are always the money concerns—can we afford it, but also, can I afford to be away from the shop?  Then, this will be the first time, in a long while, that Kendall and I have been away from Hodgepodge and ARTifacts at the same time—we usually travel on separate planes, just like the President and Veep.  Well, not quite, but there is a lot of coordinating involved when both of us are out of town at the same time.  Then, shortly after we return, I’ll have to turn around and head to Atlanta for the market.  So, that builds the stress, too.  It usually takes about three days to get back into the swing of the shop and through all of the junk mail—which, by the way, is getting more difficult to distinguish from the “real” mail.  Then I will hop in the car and leave again.  (Thank goodness for a phenomenal staff!)  It will, naturally, all come together and we will make some great memories—that is the best part, making the memories!

Memories can fortunately be made anywhere.  You don’t have to be on a beach or in the mountains. While I have found that it’s easier to sit still and relax when I’m not in close proximity to my house or shop, I do enjoy being at home.  Accomplishing projects around the house or shop is not only satisfying, but reinvigorating.  There is nothing like the sense of accomplishment over a chore or elective project.  Do you agree?

I’d almost rather use the money spent on vacation to add a permanent improvement to the house.  I wonder if my brother-in-law and nephews would consider it relaxing to make memories with us building a car port here at the house.  He could bring his boat and they could take it out on the Cumberland at the end of the day.  I’d even pack some sandwiches for them to enjoy.  (Hey, I’m a giver!) 

The view from my favorite place in the world--our back patio.

Nah, I enjoy time spent with our entire family on the Nomini Creek in the Northern Neck area of the Virginia coast.  It really is my favorite place—heck, a photo of the sun setting on the creek is the wallpaper on my phone.  

Sunset on Nomini Creek--checking our pulse rate . . .

I guess I need a little balance.  Time away is good, but the memory making can happen anywhere.  So we’ll go to VA and have a great time, and while there, after a few beers, I’ll plant the car port seed in Bill’s subconscious.