It’s Beginning to look a lot like Chaos

originally published on Dec 15, 2013 in The Leaf Chronicle

I was hoping to regale you with decorating tips and pictures of my decorated home, but alas—‘twas not to be. As author John Steinbeck penned, “The best laid schemes of mice and men . . .”

Oops! Wrong. It wasn’t Mr. Steinbeck, although I learned the quote in his novel, “Of Mice and Men,” he was actually quoting a poem written by Robert Burns. Anyhoo, the point is: plans often change or are changed for you.

My plans for the weekend changed drastically when the hard drive on my computer at the shop crashed Friday night at the close of business. No problem—it just contains all of the information vital to the operation of my shop for the past 9 years. I don’t use it much . . . just for every transactions, inventory question, social media to posts and email conversations. Naturally, after three hours on the phone with tech support and the promise of the delivery of a “recovery disc” (as if that means ANYTHING to me) within 3 – 5 business days, I took this whole event in stride.

So, after my mini-meltdown, I called my sister and asked her WWAD (What Would Angela Do?). Angela is one of our really, really smart friends who knows her way around a computer. Kendall (my sister) is usually my go to girl, but when she doesn’t know what to do—we go to Angela. When Angela doesn’t know what to do—we cry. Angela suggested calling tech support—when that didn’t work—she said, “Take it to Doghouse Computers.”

So, first thing Saturday morning, I did. They fixed it and got it back to me the same day! So, please, let that be a lesson for all of us. I am rabid about shopping local, but thought that, at 6 p.m. on a Friday night, my only option was online help. Not only did the online tech support fail me (they, in fact, promised they would have me up and running that night), but now I am fighting to get my money back. Taylor, at Doghouse, talked to me—in person—and understood my desperate situation and did everything he could to fix my computer as quickly as possible. Shop local, people—it makes a difference.

I told you all of that, so I could tell you this . . .

With my weekend compressed by my computer emergency, my plans for a big day of decorating this past Sunday turned into a big day of cleaning out the front room, which we refer to as “the parlor,” but that sounds so hoity-toity when I see it written. I had hoped to tackle this project Friday night so we could make room to relocate a table from the living room, to make room for the big tree. The parlor (said in my head with a droll British accent) was a little cluttered, as it has been the catch-all space for: inventory I’m holding onto; a college student’s “must have” bike; empty boxes from the recent bathroom re-do; a variety of ready-to-hang-but-no-wall-space-available art; and, a purgatory (of sorts) for laptops awaiting their final resting place.

The only decorating I managed was placing three trees in their designated positions—only two of which have lights on them; because that is the way I brought them home from my shop! The big tree in the living room gets a minimum of 1,000 new lights each year. I leave that tree on 24 hours per day and do not bother storing light strings that have had a minimum of 700 hours of use. When I used to reuse lights, I’ve had them go out, a string at a time, throughout the month of December—not doing that again.

My youngest daughter helped by bringing down some of the boxes while I was at the shop. She even arranged my Santa and nutcracker collections. That was a huge help due to all of the unwrapping involved in those chores.

As I plan my attack for the rest of the décor, I have found myself wondering what, if anything, I can “skip” this year. I probably won’t decorate the cabinet tops with all of the fresh greenery I’ve used in the past. I may also skip the vintage tinsel tree in the dining room . . . especially since I’ve added a new tree at the base of the stairs. Nah—who do I think I’m kidding? The tinsel tree will probably go up tonight, while I’m helping my decorating elf with her homework. It’s only about 4 feet tall—the tree, not the decorating elf; I adorn it with vintage ornaments in shades of aqua and pink—the elf, not the tree . . . (rimshot, please).

I have one more chance to share some decorating ideas with you next week. You know better than to hold your breath though.

The Final Countdown!

originally published in The Leaf Chronicle on Dec 8, 2013

My mind is a total blank. It’s a few weeks before Christmas and I can’t think of a thing to share with you. That’s a lie. I can think of things I want to share, but my mother raised me better than that, so I probably shouldn’t.

My mind is a jumble of all the things I need to accomplish in order to close my shop in less than two weeks. (I’m trying to control myself as a mild panic sets in and I double check the calendar—yup, less than two weeks. YIKES!) All while everyone around me seems to be decorating for Christmas.

While I was working on my computer the other night, I looked around the house, wondering when I will find the time to decorate our house. I may be able to start today (not the day I am writing, but the day you are reading); then again, I may just sit in my chair and stare at the television. At the moment, I’m leaning towards “just sitting.”

Perhaps I can do it in baby steps, just tackling one room at a time. The only problem with this plan is that it is highly probable that I wasn’t quite that organized in my packing last year. Wouldn’t it be great to pull out a box and it only contains the decorations for the living room? The next box would have only the assembly items for the stairwell décor. However, it is much more likely I’ll pull out the box with the greenery for the stairwell and have to stop after I put the lights on to find the ribbon, which is likely in the bottom of another storage bin—under the nutcrackers or the Santa collection.

I guess I will have to resign myself that it will be a long, drawn out process with stuff strewn all over the house. After all, why should this year be any different? I think, because my shop is such a mess as I try to organize and pack 9 years of accumulation, I am reluctant to turn the house upside down, as well.

Several friends and family have told me I shouldn’t bother decorating the house or perhaps I shouldn’t do as much as I usually do. I can’t help but wonder if they really mean that. I mean, they know me well enough to be referred to as “friends and family,” so you’d think they’d know I can’t not do it all.

This year may be a bit of a challenge, but it’ll happen and I’ll be glad it did.

By the way, as I finished typing this, my neighbor, Ryan, just texted me that he’s done decorating his entire house—he puts me shame with the amount of stuff he does! He may just lose a few bulbs out of his light strings tonight . . .

Bah Humbug!

originally published in The Leaf Chronicle on Nov 3, 2013.

Guess who just finished decorating her shop for Christmas? Yep—this gal.

This is the time when I feel like I should walk around with a sandwich-style board on my person, offering the disclaimer, “It’s not my fault the Christmas holiday retail season has been pushed into August!” Heck, I feel like I should receive some sort of recognition for waiting this long to add Christmas trees and ornaments. We still have plenty of décor for the current season of fall and the next holiday, which—incidentally—is Thanksgiving, not Christmas. (Veteran’s Day is technically “next,” but I don’t think you need to decorate. Just make sure your American flag is flying, thank the veterans you know and do all you can support them all—every day.)

Anyhoo, I am trying to keep a positive attitude and laugh at the ridiculous nature of this Christmas push. It is not necessary and it is not new, but here we are. I can understand the need for selling holiday crafting supplies well in advance of the holidays, but getting the decorations out this early is ridiculous. I don’t know who is to blame, but it does reflect the nature of our lives now. We are rushed, so therefore our holidays are rushed. We spend so much time preparing for them that many of us fail to actually enjoy them.

I admit that I love decorating for the holidays. It has always brought me much pleasure to deck the halls, but 9 years in retail have taken their toll. Besides, there is so much to do before you serve the turkey, let alone hang an ornament!

So, with that out of the way, I will share a few ideas for things you may wish to consider as you get ready to get ready.

If you have family or friends coming to visit for the holidays, now is the time to take care of the “big stuff.” If you have pets (or kids), now is the time to schedule an appointment to have the carpets and/or upholstery cleaned. If you have any other minor projects you’ve been putting off, such as replacing the towel bar that always falls off in the guest bath, do it. Save your guest the embarrassment of having that towel bar clang on the tile floor when they yank their towel off. Clean your oven, fridge and the reflectors on the stove—all things I’ve regretted not doing at one time or another. If you need new sheets for the beds the guest will use, now is a good time to buy them. (I have a set to put on my son’s bed which gets used only for guests.)

As my life always seems to revolve around my next meal, I recommend making menu plans, too. There are many cooking preparations which can be taken care of well in advance of November 28^th. There are numerous planning calendars available online or in the cookbooks you likely have on your shelves.

You might also make plans for setting your table. Do you want to make a special centerpiece or order flowers? Will you be able to sit at the table or will you need to use the table for serving and provide our guests with lap trays? Either way, early planning will ensure you have everything situated when the time comes to carve the turkey. Speaking of how you will serve your meal, you may wish to consider taking a leisurely approach and serve courses, as opposed to a full meal all at once. It may take some additional planning, but you’ve got time!

I want to close by thanking one of my readers, Bridget, for contacting me regarding my reference to my home altar as having the image of the Virgin Mary on it. She suggested it might be a depiction of St. Thérèse of Lisieux; she is completely correct! Many thanks to all of you for reading!

Jiminy says, “I tried.”

This is the column I wrote for The Leaf Chronicle, which published on Sep 15, 2013.

Writer’s note: Every now and again, I just have to write what is really going on; the struggle of my internal “Jiminy Cricket vs. Paige-nochio.”

Sit down. Calm your thoughts. Write.

You have a lot to get done today, so go ahead and write your column, you can then spend the rest of the day (God willing) working with customers and on your fall displays.

You have the best ideas. Let’s get started.

Let me just open a word document . . . wait a minute, what’s that? “Someone” left Facebook open and, look, Rebecca Townsend has written a new blog. I’ll just read that quickly—who knows, it may spark a thought for my article . . .

. . . Well, that was a beautifully written commentary on our National Day of Remembrance for the tragedies, bravery and sacrifices of September 11, 2001; poignant and personal. Rebecca has done so much for this community (especially our service members and their families) and doesn’t even give herself credit for it. I should write her a note—now, before I forget.

Okay. That’s done. Get busy.

How can you expect me to work with the desk such a mess?

Are you kidding me? If you take the time to clean this desk it will turn into the Gilligan’s Island equivalent of the “three hours cruise.” Mayhem and mishap are sure to follow and you will be frantically trying to think of something to write about 8 hours from now. In all actuality, you will likely only have succeeded restacking your paperwork into reasonably neater piles.

“Hi. I’m Melissa, your sales rep from Two’s Company,” says the peppy young lady walking through the door.

Dang it, Paige. You started the day by going to a non-existent appointment you failed to confirm; now you realize you forgot about scheduling this one. Well, there goes two hours.

I’m ready to write. I think I’ll tell folks about the extension we’ve added to our walkway. It is looking great. Hey, it’s Jimmy my UPS delivery guy. Ooh, he’s bringing me new inventory. I wonder what it is.

Stop right there missy! You know dang well it’s full of scarves—you saw the invoice yesterday. Get back to writing and you can open it as soon as you click “send.”

So, that walkway I mentioned a little over a month ago—well, it is finally under construction. I had a friend, Martha, who showed me pictures of the similar paths in her parents’ yard. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to call Parks and Rec to tell them about the lights that are out on the Upland Trail.

Unbelievable. We will never get this done. And stop looking at those boxes.

I really don’t think this is going to go anywhere. I should wait to write about the new walkway when it is done and I can share pictures.

So what you’re now admitting is that this stream of consciousness blather was a way to trick yourself into writing something without actually writing about anything.

I am not prepared to say that was my intent at the onset, as I really hoped I’d hit upon something along the way. Then I could go back and delete all of the “blather” and edit myself into a coherent presentation.

Oh hold on just one minute . . . you “coherent;” when, if ever? You’ve got people who are actually going to try to muddle through this nonsense. What do you have to show them?

Well, I shared a kind word with someone very deserving. I found an invoice I’d been looking for and hopefully, I won’t be walking in the dark tomorrow morning! Now, leave me alone, I’ve got boxes to open.

All I ask is you go back to the beginning and at least warn the readers so they can make an informed decision to waste 10 minutes of their day. Oh and make sure they know I am the voice of reason.

World’s Longest Yard Sale

My column for The Leaf chronicle, originally published August 11, 2013.

The life and times of a barely-holding-onto-her-forties shopkeeper can appear, to the casual observer, as a lot of fun. I often have folks in my boutique say things like “I would love to have a shop like this one day;” or, “You must have so much fun!” Most days, I will answer these comments with affirming replies such as, “It’s just a matter of putting your mind to it;” or, “Oh yes! I love putting together the displays and selecting the merchandise.” But more often than not, I am thinking, “NO! Don’t do it!”

As for the fun, last weekend was supposed to be all about the “fun” of finding vintage merchandise for my inventory. My mother is still visiting, so she, my sister, Kendall, and I set out last Friday morning with our destination being the “World’s Longest Yard Sale” along the 127 Corridor. The concept being that folks all along Route 127, which runs from Illinois to Alabama, set-up for a collective yard sale the first weekend in August. The sale starts Thursday and runs through Sunday.

This is something Kendall and I have been talking about doing for years, so we were naturally quite anxious to see if it was everything we had imagined. Due to the fact that we had arranged to meet our other sister, Nikki, and Kendall’s best friend, Jessica, in Frankfort, KY at 5 p.m. we decided to start our yard saling (did you know that “sale” isn’t not verb-able?) adventure in Russell Springs, KY.

After departing the parkway for 127, we stopped at the visitor’s center for an actual map (the kind printed on paper and not just doled out in portions explored via Mapquest.com). The lady at the center assured my sister she had been crazy busy, although she appeared well into her solitaire game on the computer monitor. Regardless, our sense of urgency started to increase, afraid that everyone else already beat us to the good stuff. Upon perusing the selection at the first venues we came upon, we decided we were decidedly later. Even though we arrived relatively early on the second day of the sale we felt like we were arriving at the end.

Most of the stuff was exactly what you would expect to find at a yard sale: clothing (mostly labels from a certain chain that also sells food and hardware); new-ish glassware and dishes, in singles or odd lots; videos and dvds; and, an enormous selection of items jumbled in dusty boxes which were obviously intended for the dump, but were accidently stored in a garage or shed, so they were pulled out for the big yard sale. There were a handful of true vintage/antique vendors, but overall, we were disappointed. We had been led to believe (by people who had been to this event) that we would find something more akin to the flea markets we enjoy so much.

Now, in defense of this enormously popular event, we were only able to explore a small section of the yard sale. It did seem to improve north of Danville, KY, but we only had the time available to park and visit two of the larger venues. The vendors we talked to were a little disappointed, as well; by mid-day Saturday, things were not selling as they had in previous years. One vendor, in particular, though in the “better” area (by our estimation) stated he regretted having moved north from his previous location of Crossville, TN.

(I’m including some photos from one of the better stops we made.)

The good news is we had combined this yard saling (yup, I did it again) adventure with visits to a few of the distilleries along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. That portion of our trip was a complete success and I’ll share a little about that part of our trip another time.